LOCKDOWN- CELLBLOCK T-5

Boom! That is the lovely sound KTown has been making this last week or so.   Its an interesting sound, and usually one that doesn't even wake me from my precious slumber in my quad blanketed bed early in the a.m. when most of the bombings occur round these parts. 

Recently things have gotten a bit more "security advisory" risky in KTown, which means 1 and only one thing.

LOCKDOWN!

CLANG!(thats my sound effect for a prison door closing on my normal life, frowny face)

Now for all you nervous nellies out there, which also includes me, when shit goes down in KTown it is usually directed at the "Man" or in this case "Afghan Man."  AKA the govment, making up all sorts of rules and laws, telling uncle Talib things like human rights are good, women should go to school, blah blah blah. Yet instead of having a sit in, making a couple fun signs and getting ones protest on, they opt for a bit more showey sign of dissent, doing their best Batman TV show impression. Bang! Pow! Kablooey! Holy Cow!

Luckily for yall and me, I do not fall into the normal line of targets for the badmen, and with my triple threat of guards Targah( FYEye is ex-Mujahadeen, ex-Badman prisoner and Current all around Badass! and will soon have a blog post all his own, just you wait) Ricky(ex-Street puppy turned Guard dog) and Cookie(don't let the name fool ya, this pup has probably bit enough peeps that she would have been put down years ago if hanging out in the burbs) I feel pretty safe for the most part.  In addition, we also have a entire security plan with escape routes, access to a literal extraction team when needed, and all sorts of failsafes.  Including my least favorite. Lockdown. 

What is lockdown exactly? Is it like playing hooky from school, like that time Big Ned took me kee, and lil ned to see Indy 3? Not quite I wish though, that was fun.  Is it more intense like an episode of Oz? Not quite, but I have been keeping cigarettes hidden in my room for bargaining purposes just in case......  Rather somewhere in between, I can watch Indy 3 thanks to my xmas care package and yes its kinda like a small prison at times, but with more respected shower spaces and less shivs, yet still plenty chillen in the yard with my dawgs. 

When we get a report of some actual bad shit or potential bad shit, like right now, the safest place to be is straight chillen on Taimani 5(my street! aka T-5 ya heard!) with my dawg, Targah, and dogs literally.  We have internets, hence my ability to chef up a tasty blog, stay current on work, and google my mind away as needed.  We have Indian satellite TV, which is superior, as well as a hard drive of mooovies, and my personal stash of dvds to pass the time. 

Most importantly and most currently we have some beer actually in the fridge, second time in just about 4 months guys, pretty big news.  Frozen batches of chicken green chile to smother any and everything possible, excluding Ricky and Cookie( yet if they new my past in Bodia, they might be a bit more skeered, as I probably wouldn't have too much of an issue eatin chile chee actual dogs).  All of these help to pass the time on T-5 during lockdown and keep me trying to feel a bit normalish and not like an inmate.  Lucky for me, my roomies are pretty rad and have yet to have a race war!

So when we get that call, text, or email that says, hey white folks, best to watch your step, you best believe my next step is to the kitchen to figure out what we are gonna have for breakfast cuz aint nobody driving cross town to worky work.  Gonna send some emails from the only place in the entire country one is allowed to wear lax shorts, mi casa. Yup, shorts are illegal and definitely a paddlin round here. 

Anywho, although I make a bit of jest of my current, lets be honest relatively fucked up situation, I hope and try to keep you all from worrying about me while living the dream here in KTown.  I do my best to keep safe, sound, and in one piece.  Honestly and truthfully, I like being me, I having yall as my friends and families, and the last thing I would like is for any badmen to cut that short.  That would suck.

Like always here are some candid photos of me and my lovely KTown at its best!

Just in Case the Triple Threat Fails. Double Threat Gun-Sword Should do Damage. Boom Right Back Atcha!

LockDown Option 1: Chilee Chee Friez. Gooder!

LockDown Option Dos: MRE's. Badder, but not too bad actually. 

Exactly Where is the Car Seat?

About Once Everyother Day Something Knocks My Brain Out My Skull.  Case in Point! This Dudes Bike Doubles as a Cotton Candy Machine!

When I Get Scared, I Usually Pray to This Guy!

Love Yall. Besos.

XOXO

Uncle Rory